Now I just want to cry

Im so confused. I’m confused with you, I’m confused with me, I’m confused with everything. Here’s my side: I like talking to you, you’re sweet, you’re cute, you’re good at advice and some other things. But you can be really annoying and immature sometimes and I know that makes you mad when I say that but I’m not going to beat around the bush and act like thats not true, you know? Here’s your side: you tell different people that you like me and that you respect me and all that but why can’t you tell me that?? I get your scared of getting turned down but it’s not like I don’t like you either, it’s just I don’t like you as much as you like me. Today when I saw you and saw that “you got hit by a rubber band” I didn’t feel that sad or anything which was kindof shocking or different then I expected, I thought I would have been alittle more “jealous” I guess but I really wasn’t, I was just kindof more “oh..” then anything. The fact that you say you like me and do that proves its not really that important even though you were drunk. All I’m trying to figure out is how I feel about you cause right now im so lost.

The one thing that is weird is that I dont know why I care so much when I bet he doesnt care at all

i dont know why i care so much. You sat there telling me all these nice things that made me so happy and actually feel special for once and putting a smile on my face when I wouldnt expect it and then i realize, its not special, you tell every girl that. I cant tell where I went wrong. Is it cause you knew I didnt tell my best friend so you tried to play both sides? or is it cause youre the definition of a player and cannot talk to one girl at a time. Respect for women? hell no. You dont care about them, you just care about how they think of you and how “sweet” you are but really your a bag full of shit. You say things to girls cause you know that there feelings will change, you know they will be amazed by what kind stuff you tell them, and you know all they want to do is talk to you and the only thing you take out of that is its another girl. How could I be so foolish? I feel stupid for believing you, I feel stupid for trusting you, I feel stupid for all the stuff I told you, I feel stupid from hiding it from my best friend, and overall i feel stupid for talking to you. The day i met you, i never thought we would talk that night and every single day after that. Youre sweet, youre cute, youre so nice, youre easy to talk to, youre simpathetic & for once I actually thought things might be going somewhere where i have wanted them to go for awhile. Nothing serious but something special. But obviously, every girl is special to you.

I just want to be in a world where no one is there except me

I’m so fucking stressed out with everything right now. I wanted to tweet it but I would so not dare to cause everyone would see it so I decided to just let it out on here. My parents are on my ass about school and my grades are pure shit. I told them it has only been 6 weeks and all they do is bug me more when they try to help because it really doesn’t. And one of the worst is that I feel like my best friend and I are loosing our friendship and that people are coming in and replacing the way things used to be. I can’t even talk to her the same because I feel like things are different but I don’t know what she thinks. I’ve been feeling so insecure lately and I really want to do what I used to do but then I don’t cause it’s too much. All I want to do is give up in life because nothing is going the way I want it too

Well today just sucks. All I want to do right now is cry myself to sleep. I cant stop what I should be stopping cause I dont want to and what I want to happen doesnt EVER happen. I seriously just want to give up on myself. Whenever I want something, I can NEVER do anything right to get it so why fucking try anymore??? And then on top of it, I cant even talk to the person I tell the most stuff too because im too afraid of what they are going to say. I just want this week to be over with…

I know i dont want to, but im pretty sure im giving up trying for him. I guess its just too much to ask cause obviously it will never happen.